1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,504 ♪ 2 00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,011 [both laughing] 3 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,313 Marge, I love when you grab my butt 4 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,282 with your cold, stiff fingers. 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:18,084 Homie, I'm not touching your butt. 6 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,488 - Ew! - Ew! Ew! Ew! 7 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,023 Save me, Baywatch! 8 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,026 ♪ Ah ♪ 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:30,664 ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah ♪ 10 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,266 [vocalizing] 11 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:42,008 ♪ Hot bodies and murder ♪ 12 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:48,315 ♪ Rich, sexy people behaving badly ♪ 13 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:53,153 ♪ Makes you feel better about being broke and unknown ♪ 14 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:57,557 ♪ Symbolic statues and endless brunch ♪ 15 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:03,163 ♪ How do they eat like that and still look great naked? ♪ 16 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:08,001 ♪ Are they on O-O-O-Ozempic? ♪ 17 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:12,205 [vocalizing] 18 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,577 - [seabirds squawking] - [horn blows] 19 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,713 The Yellow Lotus, a luxury, five-star resort, 20 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:23,550 has opened its teakwood doors to Springfield's neediest minority: 21 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,285 the wealthy elite. 22 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,487 [chuckling] And in breaking news... 23 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:28,788 This just in... 24 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,225 my mouth. Mmm! 25 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,660 - Mmm! - [horn blows] 26 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:40,300 Are you sure this is the timeshare we bought? 27 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,269 It's the exact same address. 28 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,938 We've been paying into it for ten years. 29 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:48,475 It just seems too good a place for us to have a reservation. 30 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,813 [slurping] 31 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,148 Read it and weep. 32 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:57,384 For joy... 'cause it's good. 33 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,189 Now, I'm legally forbidden to say 34 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,924 that this is a good investment. 35 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,560 But this is a very good investment. 36 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,895 [groans] 37 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:10,597 Homer, I'm uncomfortable. 38 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,700 The baby's using my womb as a trampoline, 39 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,469 and Consumer Repo says 40 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:19,139 timeshares are the worst investment in real estate. 41 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,675 Hey, I am not selling you real estate. 42 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,143 I'm selling you something 43 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,612 that is much more valuable than property. 44 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,080 Points. 45 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,216 Hmm. Points, eh? 46 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:33,654 Points that you can trade in for a dream vacation any time, 47 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,155 except on blackout dates. 48 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,490 Your unborn children will inherit your points. 49 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,892 And your fees. 50 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,561 It's a steal. For me. 51 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,295 Woo-hoo! Why, you! 52 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,833 Yeah, quick question. Is he mooning me? 53 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,269 The baby's behind speaks for us all 54 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,339 when it says we should leave now! 55 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,542 Well, of course. You're not prisoners. 56 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,744 But if you leave, you are breaking the law, 57 00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:01,147 and you'll end up in prison unless you sign this contract. 58 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,686 [wheezing] 59 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,557 Oh, no. My husband is having a severe allergic reaction. 60 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,826 He needs to get to the hospital immediately! 61 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,395 [grunting] 62 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,202 Another free breakfast, 63 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,471 and all I had to do was risk death. 64 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,839 [laughs] Ow. 65 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:30,143 Homer, I see you eyeing this delicious croquembouche. 66 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,913 85 choux puffs. 67 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,182 You think I would sign a lifetime contract 68 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,384 for a stupid dessert? [laughs] 69 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,752 Never again. 70 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,654 Not after Spectrum cable. 71 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,056 [majestic instrumental music plays] 72 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,192 My friend, this is America. 73 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,827 Just because you can't possibly afford something 74 00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,730 doesn't mean that you can't buy it. 75 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:54,201 Luxury vacations are not just for the rich and the famous. 76 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,904 They're for average schlubs like you. 77 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,272 - Like me? - Of course! 78 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:03,010 Homer, what is more important: to feel rich or to be rich? 79 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,778 To be rich! 80 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,912 Guess again. 81 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,748 To feel rich! 82 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,550 Exactly. Now sign. 83 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,454 Or don't and commit your family to the worst life of all: 84 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,389 one with nothing to look forward to. 85 00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:20,894 ♪ 86 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,496 [Marge mouthing] 87 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,198 Oh. 88 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,665 You get a free boombox. 89 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,500 - Done! - Oh! 90 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,104 Huh? 91 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,874 But when can we use the timeshare? 92 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,411 [chuckles] The answer to that is... 93 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:41,215 ♪ Waiting is the hardest part ♪ 94 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:44,218 ♪ Every day, you see one more... ♪ 95 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:46,186 [gasps] The croquembouche! 96 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,489 Homer, you were right. 97 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,290 I can't believe it. 98 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,159 The monthly fees, the maintenance fees, 99 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,527 the fee-calculating fees. 100 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,663 All worth it! 101 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:57,931 [dogs growling] 102 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,968 Welcome, Mr. Burns. Mr. Smithers. 103 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,736 Who's a good boy? 104 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,271 [growling] 105 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,707 Heel, heel! Stop biting my heel! 106 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,876 These dogs have been working hard and need a vacation. 107 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,411 They need to be pampered, pedicured 108 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,681 and anally expressed twice a day. 109 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,149 Relax the hounds! 110 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,652 Yes, sir. Excuse me. 111 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,758 Everything here is for guests only, 112 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,759 including the view. 113 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,260 [groans softly] 114 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,831 Howdy. 115 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,332 You can't do this to us! 116 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,168 We may not have much money, 117 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,904 but we're rich in what counts around here: points! 118 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,007 Ah, yes, right. Well, that timeshare company 119 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,043 no longer owns this property. 120 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,346 But as a courtesy, we do honor those points. 121 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,481 [Marge and Homer gasp loudly] 122 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,518 I'll see you at checkout. 123 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,754 Mm. 124 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:07,067 This is going to be the most wonderful week of our lives. 125 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,535 [loud knocking] 126 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,371 Checkout time. Back away from the minibar. 127 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,146 Uh, excuse me. May I remind you 128 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:23,417 we have accumulated 450 million points. 129 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,219 Which equals 20 minutes. Your stay is over. 130 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,656 This room now belongs to Dr. and Mrs. Hibbert. 131 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,293 [Marge groans softly] 132 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,430 Oh, you think you've won, eh? 133 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,768 We are taking the free shampoo! 134 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,070 [grunting] 135 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,704 Stupid shampoo! 136 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:49,342 Why is everything I want to steal bolted down?! 137 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:54,147 Check... mate. [scoffs] 138 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,584 We requested a sober room. No minibar. 139 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,087 My wife has gone a whole year without a drink. 140 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,889 Oh, thank you, Julius. 141 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,490 Please tell everybody. 142 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,559 I won't mention how you have your nurse 143 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,761 finish your operations so you can go play golf. 144 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,362 Oops. 145 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,631 [laughs] 146 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,232 [grumbles] Woman. 147 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,671 Don't worry about me. 148 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,874 I know how to cope perfectly well without drinking. 149 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,510 I'm so glad I married a doctor. 150 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:25,545 [Marge groans] 151 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,015 Welcome to the Yellow Lotus. 152 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,418 I'm Shauna. You're Tasha. 153 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,754 Yes, I know my name. Usually. 154 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,191 I also ordered a welcome massage. 155 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:39,193 Not Swedish, shiatsu. 156 00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:41,394 Also, it hurts when I smile. 157 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,330 Can you help? 158 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,699 I love the Yellow Lotus resorts. 159 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,601 So many beautiful bodies. 160 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,136 Especially the dead ones. 161 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,406 Whatever... I can do to help, let me know. 162 00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:56,042 I have three connecting diamond lotus suites. 163 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,746 One for me, one for my husband 164 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,748 and one for my luggage. 165 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,282 [boat horn blowing] 166 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,452 That woman's luggage gets a room, but we don't?! 167 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,788 Is this why we defeated the Nazi zombies 168 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,690 in Call of Duty: World at War? 169 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,159 We could sneak into the rich lady's luggage room, 170 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,761 and stay there for a week. 171 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,762 But Mom would never... 172 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,564 We are doing that! 173 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,767 Oh, I love it when you break bad. 174 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,569 Hey, how'd you get the key, boy? 175 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:25,539 The real question is not how did I get a key, 176 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:29,643 but how did I get a machine that makes keys? 177 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,011 He's got you there, Marge. 178 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,779 I didn't ask anything. 179 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,749 [excited chatter, laughter] 180 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,084 [Bart] Higher! Higher! 181 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,351 Ow! Too high! 182 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,954 [quietly] Marge, come here. 183 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,455 I have to show you something 184 00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:44,091 that I never dreamed was possible. 185 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,694 There's a TV in the mirror. 186 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:52,299 It's always been my dream to watch me watching TV. 187 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,433 Wow! 188 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,804 She's got to be the happiest woman in the world. 189 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:59,406 [Tasha] Oh. You're always leaving me! 190 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:02,409 Where are you going now? Another secret phone call? 191 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,412 [Sideshow Bob] She suspects nothing. 192 00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:07,681 She won't know until the minute my hands are around her neck. 193 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,217 [laughing] 194 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:17,524 ♪ 195 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,297 We have to warn that poor woman she's in danger! 196 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,165 But we're on vacation. 197 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,735 And Bob's only an attempted murderer. 198 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,202 Attempted. 199 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,471 My ears are burning. 200 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,809 [all] Sideshow Bob! 201 00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:37,611 Hello, Simpsons. Bart. 202 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,813 Don't "Bart" me, man. 203 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,748 What's your evil plan this time? 204 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,684 I might ask the same of you. 205 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,685 I believe you and your sticky-fingered family 206 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:50,157 are squatting in a luxury suite meant for my wife's luggage. 207 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,026 How do we know you're not just after her money? 208 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,028 Now, Marge, that hurts. 209 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,363 I have my own fortune. 210 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,565 I invented a rake with a collapsible handle. 211 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,700 No more head bonks. 212 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,537 [grunts, laughs, grumbles] 213 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,739 Now, let's see what your options are. 214 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,808 A: You expose my past to my wife 215 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,676 while I get you arrested for trespassing. 216 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,780 B: Everyone keeps quiet, and we all enjoy... 217 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,685 [Bart] Who am I to judge you, Bob? 218 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,886 Okay. Fine. One week. 219 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,056 But if your wife turns up dead, 220 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,290 even once, 221 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,958 we're calling the cops. 222 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,162 [Tasha] Bob, who are you talking to? 223 00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:29,563 Ah, my pet. [chuckles] 224 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,332 I was just doing vocalizations in the other room 225 00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:33,033 so I wouldn't disturb you. 226 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,334 Peas and carrots. Peas and carrots. 227 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,869 Oost, ohst, ost, est, east. 228 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,405 Badagaga, badagaga, badagaga, badagaga. 229 00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:39,473 ♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la. ♪ 230 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,009 Well, I guess we're trusting the psychopath. 231 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,877 Sociopath. 232 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,279 Two distinct diagnoses. 233 00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:48,014 With a slight touch of... 234 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,250 the narcissist. 235 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,287 [groaning] 236 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,889 [laughing] 237 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:56,923 [Tasha] Hello. 238 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,059 Oh! [chuckles] 239 00:10:58,059 --> 00:11:00,227 [stammering] Hi. 240 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,295 I see you're reading Barbra. 241 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,764 Yeah. After I put it in my suitcase, 242 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:07,234 I had no room for anything else. 243 00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:10,137 I've got the audiobook. 244 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,273 I had to delete all the photos on my phone 245 00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,008 so I'd have enough memory. 246 00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,677 Who needs my memories when I have Barbra's? 247 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,245 Let's listen together. 248 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,683 - [Lisa] You're it! [laughing] - [Bart laughing] 249 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,419 [gasps] 250 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,559 Kids! [quietly] We're trying to be inconspicuous. 251 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:32,759 No problem! 252 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:33,761 [quietly] Marco. 253 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:34,761 [whispers] Polo. 254 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,796 - Marc-- - Polo! 255 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,235 You don't belong here. 256 00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:42,603 [gasps] 257 00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,471 This is an adults-only pool. 258 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,907 The hotel will take these kids off your hands 259 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,642 for the rest of your trip, sir. 260 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,611 Oh! It's about time. 261 00:11:50,611 --> 00:11:52,546 Thank you! 262 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,214 Polo! [whoops] 263 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,682 - Ah! Jerk! - [others exclaim] 264 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,384 ♪ 265 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,522 [gulps] 266 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,026 Excuse me. I don't mean to bother, 267 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,696 but can I please get a vegan option? 268 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:10,297 What the hell are you doing? 269 00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:13,200 I mean saying "excuse me" and "please." 270 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,002 Rich kids talk like that. 271 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,403 Hello? 272 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,039 Do I have to color in this drawing myself? 273 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,875 Inside the lines, dum-dum! 274 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,677 You'll never blend in, Lis. 275 00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:25,145 [exhales] 276 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,014 You call these crudités? 277 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,882 I want farm-to-table. 278 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:31,117 [attendant gasps] 279 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,821 Isn't it grand? 280 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:39,893 Our kids are getting spoiled in a way we could never afford. 281 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,029 Have you noticed something, Homer? 282 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,665 We're the only happy people here. 283 00:12:44,665 --> 00:12:48,903 ♪ 284 00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:51,238 [slurping] 285 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,309 Wow. Well, these rich jerks 286 00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,611 may not appreciate how good they have it, 287 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,013 but we do. 288 00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:01,481 And we're gonna have it all. 289 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,652 Do you have a masseur for the plus-sized man? 290 00:13:06,654 --> 00:13:09,022 Oh, baby. 291 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,024 I'd like 292 00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:11,759 a full-body sage scrub, 293 00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:13,494 seaweed foot mask, 294 00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:14,795 pumpkin face mask, 295 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,063 cedar oil hair mask 296 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,399 and toxin release mud bath. 297 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:20,934 Ditto. 298 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,603 [sighs, moans] 299 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,610 [Lindsey] We're clear. 300 00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:30,811 [sighs] 301 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,147 Finally, I can relax. 302 00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:36,484 [fortune teller] Somebody here is going to die. 303 00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,484 Gah! 304 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,153 Who will it be? 305 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,021 The Poisoned Queen? 306 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,158 - The Suffering Toady? - Mm. 307 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:47,795 Or is it the Hanged Bride? 308 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:48,929 [gasps] 309 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,397 Beware. 310 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,298 Beware? 311 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,567 Is it "existential crisis" beware? 312 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,503 Or is it beware like the egg salad's gone bad? 313 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,471 Oh, don't worry. 314 00:13:57,471 --> 00:14:01,308 These hotel fortune tellers are always fakes. 315 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,677 Mama, we need you in the kitchen, eh? 316 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,880 Just as I predicted. 317 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,881 [sighs] Oh. 318 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,617 There's something I'm afraid I have to tell you. 319 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,952 Something bad. 320 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,355 Sounds like I'm gonna need a macaron. 321 00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,623 Better take the whole plate. 322 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:21,629 I think you may be married to a murderous psychopath. 323 00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:22,896 Sociopath. 324 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,164 [spits] What? 325 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,832 That's crazy. 326 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,901 Bob married my sister for her money, 327 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,404 and she has way less than you. 328 00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:33,206 Well, I've got an ironclad prenup. 329 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,641 If we get divorced, 330 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,076 Bob gets no money. 331 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,310 Unless I'm murdered. 332 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,746 But he told me that's just boilerplate. 333 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:40,881 [playing piano] 334 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,550 ♪ Killing her softly ♪ 335 00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:45,286 ♪ With my words ♪ 336 00:14:45,286 --> 00:14:49,490 ♪ Ending her whole life with my knife ♪ 337 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:54,027 ♪ Choking her softly with rope... ♪ 338 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,562 And now for my next request, 339 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,232 I'd like to ask security to take out two trespassers 340 00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:02,169 who, not coincidentally, went back on their word to me. 341 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,338 Uh, you're still here?! 342 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,606 Security! 343 00:15:05,606 --> 00:15:07,041 ♪ 344 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,508 [Homer and Marge gasp] 345 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,110 [grunts] 346 00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:18,652 [exclaims] Throw spaghetti sauce in my eyes! 347 00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,886 [grunts] 348 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,622 That's-a better. 349 00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:24,524 ♪ 350 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,032 Oh, there she is again. 351 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,034 Doesn't a hotel manager have better things to do? 352 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,035 [both gasp] 353 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,904 I have to protect the brand! 354 00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:38,739 The brand! 355 00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:41,374 Marge, do what I do. 356 00:15:45,613 --> 00:15:49,650 Damn it, Bernice. Do you want to leave this resort in a body bag? 357 00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:52,052 The only hard part will be getting her 358 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,221 to the top of the cliff. 359 00:15:55,056 --> 00:15:56,691 If the hounds don't taste blood soon, 360 00:15:56,691 --> 00:15:58,159 I fear they'll go mad. 361 00:15:58,159 --> 00:16:00,327 [growling, barking] 362 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,362 This resort is filled with psychos, 363 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:05,066 murderers and mild neurotics! 364 00:16:05,066 --> 00:16:06,333 Oy, my leg hurts... 365 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,001 [grunts] whenever there's fog. 366 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,936 [gasps] Oh, my God, Marge. 367 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,139 It's the worst one of all! 368 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,741 Who here has ever wanted to take a vacation 369 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,876 and earn money at the same time? 370 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,378 [both scream] 371 00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:30,490 [humming] 372 00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:35,162 You sold us a worthless timeshare! 373 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,164 Uh, you're gonna have to narrow that down. 374 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,433 You remember this? Huh? 375 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:42,402 Lady, do you know how many pregnant women I have defrauded? 376 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,938 That baby is now ten years old. 377 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,474 Oh, yeah. I'll never forget that ass. 378 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,544 You guys must have accumulated a hell of a lot of debt. 379 00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:53,280 Look, I'm not in that business anymore, okay? 380 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,083 Now I get people out of timeshare scams. 381 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,051 Is that also a scam? 382 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,886 Yeah. Much more profitable. 383 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,956 I'm going to do something now I should have done back then. 384 00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,158 [grunts] 385 00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:06,193 Hey, I need that for evil! 386 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,796 You have some very bad karma, mister. 387 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,065 Ooh, ooh, I have bad karma. 388 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,034 Oh, I'm so scared! 389 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:14,868 [grunting] 390 00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:18,271 Oh, please don't hurt me, Hindu gods! 391 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,740 [laughing] 392 00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,408 Don't be a smart aleck. 393 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,812 When you do something bad, it always catches up with you. 394 00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:26,280 Gotcha! Moochers! 395 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,448 - Moochers? - They're despicable. 396 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,885 I've been watching you all be miserable in paradise 397 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,887 and take everything for granted. 398 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,755 So you may be wealthier, 399 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,092 but we're rich in what counts. 400 00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:41,295 - Points? - The ability to go on vacation 401 00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:44,898 and have fun without plotting to kill our loved ones! 402 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,199 And now, lady, 403 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:49,203 I'm going to take in the view! 404 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,238 ♪ 405 00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,279 You know, Homie, 406 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,348 the ferry doesn't come for a while. 407 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,117 - How 'bout one last swim? - [chuckles] 408 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,490 Mwah. 409 00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:12,259 ♪ 410 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,561 [groans] 411 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,031 You've played me for a fool, Bernice. 412 00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,165 But no more! 413 00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,601 There's only one way to end this. 414 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,603 [grunts] 415 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:23,637 Oh, no! 416 00:18:26,474 --> 00:18:27,942 I love you, Bernice. 417 00:18:27,942 --> 00:18:30,277 And we're not coming down until you're clean. 418 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,179 Also, not until I figure out 419 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,615 how to get this balloon back to land. 420 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,350 [chuckling] 421 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:38,385 ♪ 422 00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,021 No! Stop! 423 00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:43,156 Nice Dobermans! 424 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,325 [snarls] 425 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,495 Thank God I brought my spare bone. 426 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,097 [poshly] D'oh! 427 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:55,502 For you, my darling. 428 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,604 [gasps] 429 00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:00,040 Oh, wow. 430 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,277 All the secret phone calls were to arrange this? 431 00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:05,412 [chuckles] Like all sociopaths, 432 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,149 all I really needed was the love of a good woman. 433 00:19:08,149 --> 00:19:09,816 And the proper medication. 434 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,019 Now all I want to do is smother you 435 00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:13,487 with kisses 436 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,921 and set you ablaze 437 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,357 with passion. 438 00:19:16,357 --> 00:19:17,425 [moaning] 439 00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:18,625 Mwah! 440 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,026 Well, I'll be. 441 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,896 He's as great a husband as I am. 442 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,832 Now, my dear, may I serenade you 443 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:27,434 with the divine Gilbert and Sullivan? 444 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,137 ♪ A wandering minstrel I ♪ 445 00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:34,007 ♪ A thing of shreds and patches ♪ 446 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,743 ♪ Of ballads, songs and snatches ♪ 447 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,744 Wha-- 448 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,413 Tasha, why? 449 00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:42,082 - I'm a fast-cycling manic-depressive! - [groaning] 450 00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,684 Oh, no, Bob! What have I done? 451 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,753 [groaning] 452 00:19:50,024 --> 00:19:51,959 - Bob. - Mel. 453 00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,160 My best to Krusty. 454 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,229 The three of us should have lunch. 455 00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:56,229 Yes, but not this week. 456 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,430 I'm doing a cleanse. 457 00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,835 Ah. Your colon will thank you. 458 00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:03,737 So I guess everyone's fine! 459 00:20:04,772 --> 00:20:07,674 Except for the body. 460 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,477 ♪ 461 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,512 [gasps] A shark. 462 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,651 Oh, it's just an adorable little otter. 463 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,186 [hisses] 464 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:21,889 Oh! [yelling] 465 00:20:21,889 --> 00:20:24,124 ♪ 466 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,929 Timeshare salesman turned retired scoundrel 467 00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,564 Nick Callahan is dead, 468 00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:34,468 leaving behind a fortune valued at 80 billion points. 469 00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,003 In "otter" news... 470 00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:37,605 My chai! 471 00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:39,639 ♪ 472 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,384 [woman vocalizing] 473 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:59,693 ♪ Once again, we've seen rich people act despicably ♪ 474 00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:03,297 ♪ And feel better about ourselves ♪ 475 00:21:03,297 --> 00:21:07,334 ♪ Like Fantasy Island and Glass Onion ♪ 476 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,337 ♪ And even Lord of the Flies. ♪ 477 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,138 [vocalizing] 478 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:16,142 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 479 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:20,146 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 480 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:24,151 and TOYOTA. 481 00:21:24,151 --> 00:21:27,621 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 482 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,522 Shh!